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| mourning glory | |
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Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. Prov19:21 I'm mourning the death of a dream. Sigh. A little disappointed with God, but I guess I have no right to be. It's one thing to think to know what God wants in one's life, it's another to hold Him to that idea, as if one understands God's thoughts perfectly. As if. This dead dream is something I've been clinging onto for three years. It's been my impetus for excellence. Now, no more flickering light at the end of my dark tunnel. Just darkness. Again. Sigh. All I can do is hold on to God's promise that ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who love God, who have been called for his purpose and that His plans are to prosper me, not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future. Even if I don't feel like hoping, like trusting, like keeping in keeping on, I choose to anyway. I've come to realize that the best offering I can give Him is not making my Good works list longer and longer, but going to him and washing his feet with my bitter tears and trusting Him even though I don't feel like it. Like David said, I will not give my God a sacrifice that did not cost me anything. | |
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